To Write With Passion

Do you ever wish you could reach out to someone to tell them some good news, but this person is no longer in your life and you have no way of communicating because you deleted all forms of communication long ago? Because at the time, you were so angry and hurt. I'm sure we all go through this at one point or another.                                         *** It's been a little over 9 months. And in the past couple of weeks, the year is slowly shaping out to be a good year. I was able to go on vacation for a week and a half and it was one of my favorite vacations I've been on. The first few days were completely liberating since I went off to Texas completely alone. I met some great people there, saw some amazing sights, and never truly felt alone during my time in both San Antonio and Austin. Then I went off to Orlando with my best friend to celebrate our 13 years of friendship. ...

You may think the title is a mistake, but it's not. This is a happy blog post. And I don't just mean a positive one. I mean, it's genuinely about me being happy. It's crazy. And I know this happiness may not be long lasting. But all I know is that in this moment, I feel happy. I accomplished some things that I didn't think I would be able to accomplish this week. I conquered a few small, but significant feats. They were personal feats that I wanted to accomplish, but didn't know when I'd be ready to take the plunge. You may have noticed in one of my earlier blogs this year how I mentioned that I had begun a new chapter of my dating life. Well, that was put on a break for a few months up until a few weeks ago. I had gone out and met a few guys a few months after my breakup, but it was still relatively tough for me to get back out there. The reason was that dating was and is still a very challenging task. Meeting new people has never been easy for me. Espe...

Today is the third day of 2018. So far, my year has consisted of a 20 hour drive back from Phoenix, Arizona and a full day of working at home from the comfort of my bed. With a paid week vacation behind me, I am back at work and looking forward to a fresh start. I'm not going to lie and say that 2017 was great. It was far from great. It had its moments, sure. But it was full of many upsetting and painful ones. I have never looked more forward to entering a new year and leaving the one behind me in the past.  I must say that I'm proud I managed to squeeze in some last minute changes in the last few weeks of 2017, including moving into a new place to claim my independence and entering a new chapter of my dating life. I've done a complete turn around of where I started the year. I've made some small positive changes in the hopes that 2018 would be MY year. I don't want to start off the way I started last year. Side note: It feels so great to finally be able to refe...

I know life doesn't change one day from the next or one week from the next. But I can at least say that life does change at least in small ways each day. The last week has been relatively better than the past few combined. I'm extremely grateful for the way this year has shaped out to be simply because everything that was thrown my way has impacted my growth moving forward. I can't say that life will be completely better from now on. I don't know that. I just know that I have to take small steps each day towards making that happen. I'm done dwelling on the past. Part of growing up is letting go of everything that's caused pain. And to do so, you need to forgive, forget and move on.  I'm not perfect. I'm not blaming anyone or anything. Shit happens. And this year has been a prime example of how making changes and taking risks can create an impact. Honestly, if someone had told me a year ago that I would have three new ear piercings, a hairstyle ch...

For the longest time, I’ve tried to live up to standards and people’s expectations of what they want me to be. And it’s been a difficult journey. I’ve always been a model child in my parents eyes. I didn’t keep them up worrying late at night like my siblings because I didn’t party. Not that they were party animals. They were always just more social than me. I told myself I would never drink because I saw how much my mom worried when my brother drank. She didn’t allow me to find a job while in college so that I could finish school and get my degree. I didn’t go out. I studied. I helped my parents at their jobs while juggling schoolwork. I had a routine: school, homework, work. That’s all I could focus on. I appreciated the fact that my parents were supporting me and my dreams to finish college. But looking back, if I had it my way, things would have been slightly different. I didn’t even want to touch alcohol until I was the legal age of 21. When I finally did, I enjoyed i...

Time drifts away before we know it. Change is inevitable. We learn, we grow, and we find ourselves. Within this lifetime, we will come across people who will impact our lives in one way or another. We will create memories and begin new adventures. As we grow, we have to make difficult decisions. We have to focus on ourselves along the way and not let anyone or anything get in our way of bettering ourselves. Unfortunately, sometimes this means we need to distance ourselves from any sort of negativity that follows us. Whether it be an obstacle or a person that is getting in our way. I've learned a lot about myself over the past years and this year alone. I've learned about strength and perseverance. I'm sure there is still a lot left to learn, not just about myself, but about life itself. We will go through many obstacles that will test our strength. I firmly believe that we are only faced with battles that we can overcome and endure. It's up to us to decide how we wi...

 It's amazing what you'll find when you immerse yourself in nature. I would love to go on more adventures and further explore all the great views. Sometimes a breath of fresh air is all we need. We need to realize that there is so much this world has to offer. One bump in the road can't knock us down. We just have to get back on track and admire the view while we can.

Roberts Regional Recreation Area  There are days where I get the sudden urge to write and all I wish to do is write. Last night I began working on an old story I recently revisited, thinking it would be left aside and never completed. Recently, I've been inspired by many things that made me want to go back and finish the story. All that was missing was something that made myself get hooked into continue writing it, fleshing it out and starting over while only keeping a few details. Sometimes it helps to take a step back from your work if you don't feel satisfied and then going back to it until something clicks. This picture will serve as my model as the story takes place in a forest. I feel like the toughest part about writing stories for me is staying focused on one idea and not getting tired of it or thinking it's too plain. But writing is all about revision and we must write until we feel satisfied with the stories we wish to tell. Storytelling is a never ending...

The saying is true: "Good things come to those who wait." I used to think it was just a saying people went by without really believing in it. It was one of those things that I said to myself, and wanted to believe, but couldn't. I spent most of my childhood being afraid of opening up to people. Some people call it shyness. Doctors will call it social anxiety. I will simply call it letting fear get the best of me. This is not to dismiss my anxiety disorder or any type of disorder. But I don't want that to be how I define myself. I've spent most of my life wondering why I was different. Why I couldn't be as outgoing like all the other kids. Or why I couldn't make friends as easily. But I never stopped and wondered why I thought it was a bad thing. I guess it comes with the stigma that if something is wrong with you, then you're not normal. Whatever normal even means. I can't remember the moment I thought to myself, "I'm not crazy, I'm ...