To Write With Passion

Around the middle of January, I decided to give something up; social media. It wasn't a difficult decision. After years and years of it consuming a huge part of my life and my constant need to have my phone on me at all times made it clear. I needed to stop. Part of it was because I just felt like it was taking over my life. Another reason was that I just relied on it so much to provide some sort of comfort in knowing what people were always up to. Facebook was always my least favorite and initially was meant to update and connect with family in Mexico and close friends. Well, it turned into more than that and it became a negative source for me over time. I had already deleted my original account and created a new account with only a few select family and friends, but I hastily decided that I needed to rid of it altogether. Next was Instagram. I loved Instagram because it allowed me to share the pictures I took, which I absolutely love to do. But with all the new updates over the...

Today is the third day of 2018. So far, my year has consisted of a 20 hour drive back from Phoenix, Arizona and a full day of working at home from the comfort of my bed. With a paid week vacation behind me, I am back at work and looking forward to a fresh start. I'm not going to lie and say that 2017 was great. It was far from great. It had its moments, sure. But it was full of many upsetting and painful ones. I have never looked more forward to entering a new year and leaving the one behind me in the past.  I must say that I'm proud I managed to squeeze in some last minute changes in the last few weeks of 2017, including moving into a new place to claim my independence and entering a new chapter of my dating life. I've done a complete turn around of where I started the year. I've made some small positive changes in the hopes that 2018 would be MY year. I don't want to start off the way I started last year. Side note: It feels so great to finally be able to refe...

I know life doesn't change one day from the next or one week from the next. But I can at least say that life does change at least in small ways each day. The last week has been relatively better than the past few combined. I'm extremely grateful for the way this year has shaped out to be simply because everything that was thrown my way has impacted my growth moving forward. I can't say that life will be completely better from now on. I don't know that. I just know that I have to take small steps each day towards making that happen. I'm done dwelling on the past. Part of growing up is letting go of everything that's caused pain. And to do so, you need to forgive, forget and move on.  I'm not perfect. I'm not blaming anyone or anything. Shit happens. And this year has been a prime example of how making changes and taking risks can create an impact. Honestly, if someone had told me a year ago that I would have three new ear piercings, a hairstyle ch...

For the longest time, I’ve tried to live up to standards and people’s expectations of what they want me to be. And it’s been a difficult journey. I’ve always been a model child in my parents eyes. I didn’t keep them up worrying late at night like my siblings because I didn’t party. Not that they were party animals. They were always just more social than me. I told myself I would never drink because I saw how much my mom worried when my brother drank. She didn’t allow me to find a job while in college so that I could finish school and get my degree. I didn’t go out. I studied. I helped my parents at their jobs while juggling schoolwork. I had a routine: school, homework, work. That’s all I could focus on. I appreciated the fact that my parents were supporting me and my dreams to finish college. But looking back, if I had it my way, things would have been slightly different. I didn’t even want to touch alcohol until I was the legal age of 21. When I finally did, I enjoyed i...

Life is interesting. You never know what to expect. The past few days, I have struggled to write. I have struggled to figure out what to say. I've felt lost. Frankly, I've fallen back into the depths of darkness. The place I have been unable to bring myself out of. I know it will get easier over time. I just need to let go. I need to move forward and leave the past behind me. I need to leave everything that has hurt me and brought me pain behind. That's the only way to learn. And the only way to get over this. Right now, I don't understand why things happen the way they do. But one day, I might understand. I hope I will. It's hard to figure out where to go from here. It's hard to imagine the future sometimes. But I've managed so far. I'm starting to make some changes. It's all about me right now. It's about what I need for myself. As hard as it was to let go, I needed to do it for me. I couldn't move on while holding onto something that was...