To Write With Passion

For the longest time, I’ve tried to live up to standards and people’s expectations of what they want me to be. And it’s been a difficult journey. I’ve always been a model child in my parents eyes. I didn’t keep them up worrying late at night like my siblings because I didn’t party. Not that they were party animals. They were always just more social than me. I told myself I would never drink because I saw how much my mom worried when my brother drank. She didn’t allow me to find a job while in college so that I could finish school and get my degree. I didn’t go out. I studied. I helped my parents at their jobs while juggling schoolwork. I had a routine: school, homework, work. That’s all I could focus on. I appreciated the fact that my parents were supporting me and my dreams to finish college. But looking back, if I had it my way, things would have been slightly different. I didn’t even want to touch alcohol until I was the legal age of 21. When I finally did, I enjoyed i...

Life is interesting. You never know what to expect. The past few days, I have struggled to write. I have struggled to figure out what to say. I've felt lost. Frankly, I've fallen back into the depths of darkness. The place I have been unable to bring myself out of. I know it will get easier over time. I just need to let go. I need to move forward and leave the past behind me. I need to leave everything that has hurt me and brought me pain behind. That's the only way to learn. And the only way to get over this. Right now, I don't understand why things happen the way they do. But one day, I might understand. I hope I will. It's hard to figure out where to go from here. It's hard to imagine the future sometimes. But I've managed so far. I'm starting to make some changes. It's all about me right now. It's about what I need for myself. As hard as it was to let go, I needed to do it for me. I couldn't move on while holding onto something that was...